It IS all about sex

November 4, 2008


There was an article in the Post yesterday which reported that a new study finds that 40% of women 18 and older report sexual problems.  Furthermore, only 12% of women are distressed about their sexual problems.  But don’t worry, the experts say that is good news.  I’m sorry, how the f**k is that good news?! It seems to me that it should be the reverse- that the largest cause for concern is that ONLY 12% are distressed by their sexual problem.  Women should be all up in arms reclaiming their orgasms!

The fact that the supposed experts think that is good news freaks me out.  Women are already told way too much in way too many ways that they shouldn’t be sexual beings- that sexuality is a negative trait.  The high percentage of sexual problems and the low level of distress about it are amazing illustrations of that. So for doctors to be saying that it is good news that women don’t feel a need to solve their sexual problems makes me CRAZY.  

It also makes me think about the messages women are sent about getting what we want- I mean, if we can’t ask for what we want in the bedroom how are we supposed to express what we want and deserve when it comes to raises, promotions, decisions about whether or not to go back to work and how, every life choice you can think of?  I worry that we are setting our expectations way too low.

So here’s what I say- it’s time to speak up! (Yes, this is my Eve Ensler moment.) Enough of this laying on the bottom being bored shitless.  If you aren’t happy with something or find that you are selling yourself short forget that “nice girl” attitude and say something whether it’s in your bedroom, on the kitchen table, in the public park, or, hell, even in that same office where you deserve the raise- whatever floats your boat.


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