Excuses, excuses

December 18, 2008



Image courtesy of: http://www.benettontalk.com/

As I was catching up on my blog reading I came across this post.  In it a mother of two small children discusses ways to simplify life during the holidays.  Overall, a lot of great suggestions.  But there was one part that set my alarm bells off… “Perhaps I should delegate to the other parent in the house, but his schedule is already just as crazy and really….do I want him addressing Christmas cards? I think not!”

Maybe her husband’s schedule really is just as busy but if she can’t trust him to address Christmas cards then I wonder how busy he really is… Is he allowed to wash the dishes? To make dinner every now and then? To put the kids to bed? 

Maybe I am being harsh here, but we can’t expect our partners to be equal participants in the family and then not let them/ask them to help!  There are so many reasons this is the case:

  1. Doing everything ourselves makes life a lot harder
  2. It hurts our relationships because we end up resenting doing everything
  3. We are setting a pattern that will just become harder and harder to break
  4. What message does it send our kids?!

Now, I suck at asking for help.  Big time.  I am definitely guilty of the “no, no, it’s ok. I’ll do it. (sigh)” move.  But at some point in my haggard, grumpy, wits-end state I realized, there is another adult here who can help.  I mean, one of the reasons I married my husband is that he is a capable, smart, helpful partner.  So I should treat him as such… and reap all the benefits!

So if we were doing holiday cards you better believe the husband would be addressing them- his penmanship is better than mine anyway…


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