Am I becoming one of them?

January 26, 2009


We had a dinner party last Thursday night.  It was a really nice time.  An amazingly successful meal and very nice company.  The guests were my brother, visiting from LA, and two friends of his who are in Type-A city for the Spring semester.  

As we were making the last minute preparations I found that I was very nervous.  Not about the food, or about the house being clean enough, or about people I’d never met coming to my house.  I was worried about my ability to entertain guests.

Now that my consulting business is really off the ground and bringing in work I feel like I should be pleased- and believe me the money is welcome and I am incredibly grateful that I have work in this economic downturn- but since the work I am doing is not terribly interesting to me and is not exactly contributing to my professional development as I envisioned it might, it has left me feeling a bit dull.

As we were sitting in the living room chatting over olives and cheese I felt as if I didn’t have much to contribute to the conversation- I had this overwhelming fear that all I could talk about was the bowel movements of my child and sleep training.

As the conversation got going I found that I didn’t have to talk about crawling versus cruising or what kind of solid food diet the baby is now eating, I could talk about the Obama administration, different bars and restaurants in the area, etc.  It was a relief.

And yet the feeling still lingers.  Am I destined to become a comfy-clothes wearing, ponytailed, work-from-home mom who likes to talk about yogurt flavors?  I better catch up on my New Yorker and Bitch magazine reading…


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