Don’t Raise Your Voice At Me!

April 24, 2009

I must admit I was relieved to read this post on the Motherlode today.  While I have always been the one to reassure my husband that our one-year-old witnessing the occasional fight between my husband and myself wasn’t going to damage him permanently, I am happy that I now have a study to point to, both to assuage my own fears (and those of my husband) that I am full of shit.

According to the post, and the study it references, children who witness parents fighting “constructively” are just fine and, in fact, seeing your parents disagree and then resolve the conflict can serve as a model for later behavior.  Even cooler, these kids are often more caring and empathetic than their peers.  Whew!

But the other side is that those not-so-“constructive” fights are not only scary to kids but can also lead to emotional problems further down the line.  While I would like to pretend that every disagreement my husband and I have is dignified and filled with respect, which supposedly lead to “constructive” arguments, there have been a few humdingers that wouldn’t really fall into that category…

So, yeah, we have to keep working on it but at least there’s hope for those of us who have  the occasional “heated discussion,” right?

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One Response to “Don’t Raise Your Voice At Me!”

  1. Joyce Says:

    Hmmm. I didn’t read the study, but I’m a little suspicious of a) people categorizing their own arguing style and b) people acting the same when they’re videotaped.


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