To assume…

May 18, 2009

The other day while we were out and about, F, M and I ran into a family friend who hadn’t seen M in a long time.  She told us how cute he was and then immediately asked, “so where is he in school?” There was an awkward pause and then I said, “he’s not. He’s at home.”  F, bless his heart, then jumped in and said, “yeah. He’s home-schooled.”  She replied, “Oh.” And then turned to talk to someone else.

I was stunned and embarrassed.  I felt like there was this huge weight of judgment hanging in the air, that I am depriving my son of important educational experiences by taking care of him myself.  

But then I realized.  She is just another symptom of the Type-A city in which we live.  This woman is in her fifties, does not have young children, and still managed to assume that our one-year-old should be in school, not daycare, school.  There is so much pressure to succeed, not only professionally, but also through your kids.  Your kids have to go to elite colleges and the preparation for that, apparently, starts when they are one.  Otherwise, forget Harvard.

M will, eventually, go to daycare or preschool because I do think that the socialization that happens is important.  But right now, even with all the career angst and struggles to keep my professional life afloat, I am very grateful that I am lucky enough to get to have this time with him.

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2 Responses to “To assume…”

  1. Sandra Says:

    WOW! I refuse to put my girls in even a preschool… they will start kindergarten when they are 5/6, and will be just fine. There are even studies (I cringe at that, I must add) that indicate children that are left to be CHILDREN – playing in the dirt vs. studying math at age 4 – adapt and learn faster and easier than their growing-too-fast-for-their-bodies-and-minds counterparts.

    My nieces are in “preschool” and can do exactly what my 4 year old can, learning at home at her own pace. Nope, not buying the school hype here – and my older boys (11 and 15) walk upright, know their letters, and are on honor rolls – all without pre-education. Go figure! 😀

  2. alyssa Says:

    what??!?! he’s ONE!


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