Give Sex a Chance

June 9, 2009

This past weekend we made a trip down to Little Rock for the wedding of a very good friend.  At the rehearsal dinner, the groom’s parents read a letter from the groom’s grandmother who couldn’t be there to the couple.  In it, she wrote about how one of the most important aspects to a good marriage is good sex. Gotta love a grandma like that.

I couldn’t agree with grandma more, sex is incredibly important to a good marriage and that is why books like the new What to Expect Before Your Expecting make me want to kick the author in the shins.  By putting so much pressure on the act of trying to get pregnant, not to mention the act of making love, you risk killing the passion and fun in the relationship.  

A friend who is thinking with her husband about starting to try to get pregnant recently asked me if trying to get pregnant had hurt my sex life with my husband.  I told her that, even with the fertility hoops we had to jump through, we managed to keep things light and fun.  That wasn’t necessarily easy, but we felt strongly that maintaining the sex for sex’s sake was important, that our relationship shouldn’t get lost in the work of trying to get pregnant.  I mean, honestly, what good are all of the sacrifices we make for our kids (and potential kids), if our relationships with our partners are in the dog-house? 

So while I understand that these books and websites that give advice on things to do to increase your chances of getting pregnant are serving an important informational purpose, I wish they all had a disclaimer at the beginning: “WARNING: The information that follows may severely damage your sex life.”

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